The Children of the Cold.

That's the name of the group who want me to join them, right? They say they serve the Frozen Prince personally.

Are they really that desperate? I mean, what the hell could some depressive twentysomething atheist do for these whackjob religious groups? Do they just need cannon fodder that badly?

Maybe they need people to be depressed. Maybe they need someone with nothing better to do. I don't fucking know.

...I'm desperate too, though.

Oh, shit.

There's something outside.

It's a wolf.

I'm gonna just... stay inside, I think.

I spend most of my time doing that anyways. I mean, there's only so much protection from the cold you can get on a budget like mine.

Plus, I just don't like being near people. I'm always worried they're going to get hurt, and I won't be able to help them, or worse, that I won't want to help them. That thought scares me more than anything.

Not sure how I got here from "oh, fuck, there's a wolf outside my house," but there you have it.

Well, well, well.

A pair of men in suits knocked on my door today. They asked if I was religious. I said no. Then I shut the door in their face. I'm not interested in proselytizers.

But, hey, it looks like they left me something on my doorstep. A brochure for the Children of the Cold. Like spirituality is something you can sell. (Not that I spend much time on it myself.)

I must say, though, this entire scenario feels eerily familiar. I guess no regime is any different from the last, eh?

But man, these Children of the Cold guys are tenacious. First the letter, then the doorstep proselytizers. I don't see why they feel the need to get any more members. Probably for sacrifices or something. I don't fucking know.

I feel like shit.

I watched a man die of frostbite and I did nothing.

Am I a monster?

Does it even matter if I am? I mean... I don't have the energy to do anything, good or bad. I'm frozen solid.

And there are so many tragedies happening all the time that it probably doesn't matter. No one person can do anything, and we're all so isolated from one another that we couldn't help each other if we tried.

God, that was a lot of angst. Sorry about that.

Great.

Ever since the long winter, my depression has gotten worse and worse. I guess that makes sense. A guy whose world is collapsing around him and who was already struggling with mental health issues has... worsening mental health. And I'm getting poorer and poorer as things drag on, so I'm getting further and further from ever seeing a therapist.

At least I don't have the energy to do anything stupid, or hurt myself, or anything like that. I don't know if that's a good thing, but it's something, which is a change of pace from the rest of my goddamn life.

Ugh.

I have a splitting headache. No Aspirin or anything, and I can't exactly go to the store right now- there's a snowstorm even worse than usual out there.

Fuck. Gonna have to wait this one out.

I lied.

One piece of mail I got was somewhat interesting, actually. It was an ad for the Children of the Cold. Remember how I said some fuckwads worship the guy who brought about the apocalypse? Yeah. These are those fuckwads. And they want me to join them.

Genius.

That's new.

I got some mail today. I can't imagine why. Pretty much everyone in my family hates me by now, and I don't have many friends. I'll admit, I've been a bit of a prick in the past, so I can't blame anyone else for the sorry state of my social life. I guess I'll go see what I got.

Oh. It was all spam. I can't say that's surprising.

I guess I should explain what I said earlier. About being a prick, I mean. I've been like this all my life. Depressive and rude. I act like a callous asshole to cover up for my ~deep inner turmoil~. I should probably see a therapist, but I'm poor as shit. I've been typing these posts on a janky old PC that I got for my 17th birthday. (I'm 24 now. I guess it's impressive it's lasted that long, but if you took a look at it, I think you'd agree that the only thing impressive here is that it even runs Internet Explorer.)

My parents... well, I'd say they're part of the problem. They aren't really abusive, per se, but they just sort of seem not to care, which I guess is a form of abuse all its own, isn't it? Point is, even if I'd asked to go to therapy when I was younger, even if we'd had the money, they probably wouldn't have wanted to. They'd have called me whiny and said to stop complaining, because there are people who kill themselves because they're so depressed, and I haven't killed myself yet, so obviously I'm fine. Some sort of "other people have it worse so your problems obviously aren't really problems" bullshit.

What a weirdo.

Came across some kinda fundie or cultist or something the other day. He was just standing on the street corner, screaming at anyone who'd listen about how the end times are the natural result of the sins of mankind, or something.

I guess it's as good an explanation as any for the bullshit we're going through, though. I mean, the "Frozen Prince" hypothesis is the one everyone seems to agree on, and that's about as completely fucking bonkers as anything else, right?

A recap.

It's been a long winter.

Evidently, for anyone who somehow hasn't heard, nature decided winter should last until July. Some sort of bizarre result of climate change, I used to think, but I've heard rumors that it was something even worse. Something people call the Frozen Prince.

Some people worship this guy as a god. Those people can go fuck themselves, because trust me, there is nothing godly going on here.